An Illness Like
This is undoubtedly an illness like any other. Everybody who has a diagnosis of this terrible disease is as unique as every snowflake that falls to the grounds in deepest winter. Over the last few days I have come across comments such as
“Recruiting for the Torbay Dementia Action Alliance? There’s plenty of time for that!!
Err, excuse me, so it’s not important to raise awareness each and every day is it not?? I think it is!!
Or, when explaining to a certain shopkeeper about the Alliance I was asked (And this is no word of a lie)
When is a good time to joke with the customer about their Dementia?
My answer? YOU REALLY DONT WANT TO KNOW!! But if you PM me I will tell you the answer I gave, not for public consumption LOL .
Sometimes I think I will shake my head so hard it will fall off!! LOL But then I get three to four e mails at once from the likes of Age UK Torbay and the Care Trust asking what the Alliance is all about and how can they get involved, and so my heart soars once again.
I was asked also recently why I like to keep so busy and always have some project on the go? The answer, to me is quite simple, the busier I am the less time I have to think about how this disgusting disease is robbing me, minute by minute of my wonderful life and memories. When I have nothing to do is when I start to worry, and that’s when my “Concrete Overcoat” as I call it appears and envelopes me only to drag me down deeper and deeper into the depths of despair.
And please believe me when I say there are times like that quite often. Sometimes all is not what it seems over the computer. But on the other hand, in the early days of my diagnosis there were more bad days than good, but I can happily say these days there are more good days than bad, and I am convinced that’s because I keep busy, but when the day draws to a close, then that’s when my condition deteriorates.
Even after a couple of relaxing days away from the computer, I awoke the other night Screaming, Shouting and pushing the bedside table away from me as hard as I could!! I was bathed in sweat in what was a cold night and for the rest of the night I just drifted from one night terror to another. Two day`s running I could smell things from my past, from a very very long time ago , and in my front room as well!! I keep having glimpses of people who are long gone and hear my wonderful gran shouting me from time to time.
I have always said that having this disease is just like having TWO diseases, Having it, and KNOWING YOU HAVE IT!!!
But, and as you know, there is always a BUT with me LOL, It’s because we do so much and have little time to think of much else, and for that reason I am convinced I will beat this awful illness and one day hold the MOTHER of all parties.
YOU ARE ALL INVITED!!!